There are many qualities a great fast food should have. First, it should be fast -- you order it standing up and receive it before you get tired of standing. It should be filling. If at all possible, it should involve cheese. It should be incredibly tasty in a very obvious way. And it should leave you feeling pleasantly guilty at the self-indulgence of it all.
If it's served to you by a cheerful man wearing a hot-dog hat, well, that's just one step beyond perfection.
Those in the know can guess that I just had a Potato Tornado.
The Potato Tornado is only available at HotDog Tommy's at the intersection of Jackson Street and Beach Avenue in Cape May, New Jersey. In fact, now that the main tourist season is over, it's only available Fridays through Sundays from 10:57 a.m. to 5:01 p.m. But, oh man, is it worth it.
The tornado was invented here and so far as I know, it's the first mashed-potato based junk food. It starts with a cup of hot whipped mashed potatoes, topped with chili sauce, cheddar cheese, salsa, slivers of banana peppers and a blob of sour cream.
Great stuff. I feel guilty just thinking about it.
Right now there's only one place in the world you can have a Potato Tornado. But someday somebody's going to steal the idea and make billions and billions off of it. If it's you, don't forget to send me a Maserati in thanks.
Above: Nudity and other serious topics will return when I return from vacation. Right now I'm headed for the beach, clutching a book containing no socially redeeming value whatsoever.