Ask Unca Mke

.

Science fiction and fantasy writers are a group are extraordinarily generous with advice to new writers. A moment's thought, however, reveals that this is just encouraging talented young people to occupy the publishing niches and win the awards that would otherwise go to to us Old Hands. Ask Unca Mike is an attempt to rectify this deplorable situation.

Fact and Fiction

Dear Unca Mike,

I am a much better writer in my mind than I am on paper. In my imagination my stories are brilliant and get nominated for all kinds of awards. Why are the stories I actually write so terrible?

(Signed) "Walter"

The solution to your problem is blindingly obvious: In your mind, invent an imaginary science fiction magazine and submit your stories there.

Dear Unca Mike:

My problem is that all my story ideas seem wasted on fiction.

Wouldn't a well-researched, reasonably plausible science fiction story idea likely earn a better return as the prospectus for a startup company?  Or at least a Kickstarter?

Wouldn't a cracking good idea for a bank heist plot be better used on an actual bank?  And so on.

(Signed) Realist

Will F. Jenkins, who under the name of Murray Leinster was known as the Dean of Science Fiction, once told me that he started with ideas for scientific inventions and then thought about them until he figured out either how to make them work or why they wouldn’t. If an idea worked, he patented it. If it didn’t, he wrote a science fiction story papering over the flaw that made it impossible. You would do well to follow his example.

As for the bank heist, however… Theodore Sturgeon has stated that he began writing because he’d come up with the perfect crime and lacked the nerve to try it out. I’ve read that story that resulted, however, and it would have landed him in the hoosegow. You would be wise to follow his example as well.

Dear Unca Mike,

I can't seem to get an editor of an SF magazine to publish me. I've read a lot of your advice, but I'm sure I must have missed some of it along the way or I would be published by now. Will it all ever be collected into an e-book or, even, a paperback?

(Signed)  "Thank You For Submitting, But..."

 Try submitting your stories to Walter’s Imaginary Science Fiction Magazine. I hear they’ll take anything.

If you have a question for Unca Mike you can post it below. Or write to AskUncaMike ("at" sign) gmail.com. I'll respond tho those I have the best answers for.

Ask Unca Mike will run here on Fridays.

And more seriously. . .

As always, I'm on the road again. This time, I'm headed for North Carolina to promote my new and madly entertaining Darger & Surplus novel, Chasing the Phoenix.  Why not stop in on an event and say hi?  

Here's where I'll be:.

Saturday, August 15 

Quail Ridge Books and Music  – 7pm

3522 Wade Ave

Raleigh, NC  C

Sunday, August 16 

Oak City Comic Show

3415 Wake Forest Road

Raleigh, NC 27609   

Monday, August 17

Flyleaf Books  – 7pm

752 MLK Jr Boulevard

Chapel Hill, NC 27514

Tuesday, August 18

Malaprop’s Bookstore and Cafe – 7pm

55 Haywood Street

Asheville, NC 28801    

*

Con Men, Dumplings, Geekadelphia, and Me

.

The book launch at Main Point Books in Bryn Mawr was a great success. Also a terrific place for a reading and signing.  They really have a nice selection of books. And I got to see some dear friends too.

Not coincidentally, the same day my book launched, two related items appeared online. The first was Chris Urie's interview with me about Chasing the Phoenix on the Geekadelphia website. Here's a snippet:

I was reading Thomas Pynchon’s Mason & Dixon and came upon a scene with a talking dog so good that I said, “I want to do that.” To avoid writing a weak imitation, I made my dog anthropomorphic. set him in a Postutopian future, and made him a con man. Which, in a roundabout way makes the series character-oriented because I had no idea what to do with Surplus before Darger approached him with a business opportunity.

You can find the interview here.

Also on launch day, Shawn Speakman's blog Suvudu featured my reminiscence on the time a pair of con men tried to separate me from my money, using an updated version of the Pigeon Drop. Here's how my adventure began:

My one brush with genuine confidence artists happened in the Eighties. I was in Center City Philadelphia when I was approached by a worried-looking little man with a crumpled piece of paper in his hand. “Please, sir, can you help me find this address?” he asked in an unfamiliar accent.

You can discover what happened then here.


And for those who think that all that's not enough . . .


A couple of days ago, Fran Wilde featured me on her Book Bites thingummy. In which she asks an author to provide a recipe and then describe cooking it.

So, hard to believe though this may be for those who know me, I wrote a short essay titled Making Jiaozi Dumplings in Yangshu. 

And there's a recipe too! So you can do the same thing.


Above: There I am with living legend typographer John Berry and living legend editor Ellen Datlow in Yangshuo. Ellen is demonstrating her approach to manuscripts she feels are too wordy.

*

Attending Your First Book Launch

.

Tomorrow is the book launch for my new Darger & Surplus novel, Chasing the Phoenix. It'll be at Main Point Books at 1041 West Lancaster Avenue, Bryn Mawr, PA and it starts at 7 p.m.

I'll be making a number of book store appearances to promote my novel but of course there can be only one launch party per book.

So what can you expect?

It'll be a typical literary event. I'll read a selection from the novel. You'll have the opportunity to buy books -- mine, of course, but Main Point Books has quite a nice selection and I've never been able to browse there without picking something up. Everybody will be happy. There will be lots of chatter. And if you want to talk with me, you'll have plenty of opportunity.

But, really, a book launch is only in part about the author. Mostly, it's about the community of people who care about books. So there'll be readers, fans, writers, a rare book man, a "nanopublisher"... interesting people it would be worth your while to know. The sort of people who would show up at this kind of event.

If you can make it to Main Point Books this Tuesday, I'd be delighted to see you. If you're not in the neighborhood, though, you should seek out book events in your area. They really are a lot of fun.

Also, as I said, filled with your kind of people.

You can find Main Point Book's home page here.

*

Ask Unca Mike

.

Science fiction and fantasy writers are a group are extraordinarily generous with advice to new writers. A moment's thought, however, reveals that this is just encouraging talented young people to occupy the publishing niches and win the awards that would otherwise go to to us Old Hands. Ask Unca Mike is an attempt to rectify this deplorable situation.

The following are Classic Unca Mike questions. Starting next Friday, I'll be answering new questions. Feel free to ask your own.

Book critic

garfieldgirlce1 writes: I ‘m 24 and finaly figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. The thing is I haven’t the slightest idea how you become one. Do you know how someone becomes a book critic? That’s what I want to be. So any advice would be greatly apreciated. Thanx.

The usual method is to fail as a novelist.

Revisions

Juaki Revuelta writes: Do you think revisions (I mean to brainly chew the ideas and style on and on and on...) really enhance the quality of a story? Wouldn't it be better to let the message as fresh as it was born?

Quite right. You don't imagine that any of the modern masters wasted their time on revisions do you? They just let it pour out of their heads. Take a look at the opening of Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants," for example:

The hills across the valley of Ebro were long and white. On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails in the sun. Close against the side of the station there was the warm shadow of the building and a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the open door into the bar, to keep out flies. Better pick up some bread and milk today. I think we're almost out of butter. The American and the girl with him sat at a table in the shade, outside the building. It was very hot and the express from Barcelona would come in forty minutes. It stopped at this junction for two hours and went on to Madrid. Scott Fitzgerald is a prat.

See how spontaneous that reads? Go thou and do likewise.

Introduction

Sehr writes: some good starting point ideas for short stories. How to introduce the setting and describe the atmosphere well...Thanks!

All the writing books agree that you should "Begin at the beginning." And given the purpose of this column - to so burden you with useless advice that you never do get published - those are words that can scarcely be improved upon. For introducing the setting, you simply say something like, "Setting,. I'd like you to meet the reader. Reader, setting." And as for describing atmosphere, I recommend you be straightforward. On Earth, it's nitrogen (78.90%), oxygen (20.95%), and small amounts of argon, carbon dioxide and other gases, with some dust and water vapor, depending on local conditions.

Propz

Hetty writes: Yo, let's say you were to give propz to your favorite short story writer? Who would it be?

I probably shouldn't mention his name because his stories really suck. But, oh man, what a nice guy!


If you have a question for Unca Mike you can post it below. Or write to AskUncaMike ("at" sign) gmail.com. I'll respond tho those I have the best answers for.

Ask Unca Mike will run here on Fridays.

*

The Return of Ritter

.

This is a good day for me. "The Night of the Salamander," the latest story in the Mongolian Wizard series, is up at Tor.com. With, it almost goes without saying by now, another very fine illustration by Gregory Manchess.

It's not obvious from the story itself, but "The Night of the Salamander" introduces the second of the three great loves of Kapitänleutnant Franz-Karl Ritter's life. That's assuming that the rest of the series goes as currently planned.

This is, incidentally, the fifth story in the series. Tor has two more in inventory and will publish them at their pleasure. So the chronicles of Ritter, Sir Toby, and the Mongolian Wizard's conquest of Europe are one-third written.  That's seven down and fourteen to go.

You can find the story here. Or you can just go to Tor.com and have a pleasant time wandering about.


And speaking of Tor.com . . .

The current issue (page? iteration?) of Tor.com has an enthusiastic review of Stories for Chip: A Tribute to Samuel R. Delany. I have a contributor's copy, of course. But if I didn't, this review would send me out to buy a copy.

So it seems that the good folks at Tor conspire to make me happy.

You can find the review here. Or, as I said, go to Tor.com and start poking around. They've always got interesting stuff to read there.

*

My Scheduled Appearances

.

I have a new addition to my public appearances! This September 8, I'll be opening the 25th season of the New York Review of Science Fiction Reading Series.  That's one quarter of a century that this series has been presenting the greats and unknowns of science fiction. With, it should be mentioned, frequent promotion from the latter category to the former.

More details as they come available.  Meanwhile, here's my current schedule.


Scheduled Appearances

Tuesday, August 11 - Main Point Books, Bryn Mawr, PA

This will be the official book launch.

Saturday, August 15 - Quail Ridge Books and Music, Raleigh, NC

Sunday, August 16 - Oak City Comic Show, Raleigh, NC

Monday, August 17 - Flyleaf Books, Chapel Hill, NC

There'll also be an appearance on WCOM with Samuel Mongomery-Blinn of Bull Spec and Mur Lafferty of Carolina Book Beat

Tuesday, August 18 - Malaprop’s, Ashville, NC

Friday, August 21 – Sunday, August 23 – Sasquan World Science Fiction Convention

Tuesday, September 8 – New York Review of Science Fiction Readings, Brooklyn, NY.

Wednesday, September 9 – Philadelphis Free Library Central Branch, Philadelphia, PA

A panel on the history and future of science fiction and fantasy in Philadelphia

Monday, September 21 - University of Pennsylvania (B&N College), Philadelphia, PA

*

Darger & Surplus Explained!

.

Episode 243: Michael Swanwick and his two rogues | The Coode Street Podcast


This is a great week for anybody who's ever wondered about Darger & Surplus -- where they came from and where they're going to.  From very close to the beginning, I've had an overall plan for their adventures... which are not as random as they sometimes look.

I've explained everything -- twice.  First, in a conversation on Gary K. Wolfe's and Jonathan Strahan's Coode Street Podcast.  And then in "A Brief History of the Notorious Tricksters Darger and Surplus," an essay on the Tor/Forge Books blog.

You can find the Coode Street Podcast here. Or you can click the link above.

And you can find the Tor/Forge essay here.


And I'll be reading in Brooklyn this September . . .

I'll put my updated schedule of appearances up here tomorrow.

*