Books I Own and You Don't: THE WRITER'S SIDEKICK

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I have compiled this book as a useful tool for the convenient use of both the amateur and the professional author. To collect these gems I have cream-skimmed the writing of myriad novelists, to whom grateful acknowledgment is hereby made. To quote Montaigne: "I have here only made a garland of choice flowers; I bring nothing of my own but the thread that binds them."

--Clifford Pierce Redden 

I discovered Redden's The Writer's Sidekick at a writing workshop I agreed to teach at during the1980s. Like many an indie author, he apparently had trouble finding a market and so he left a stack on the freebies table. Had I realized how entertaining my fellow writers would find it, I would have swiped a dozen on my way out.

TWS is a compilation of adjectives, mostly compound and hyphenated, that Redden found attached to various nouns. Under JOKES, for instance, he has:

age-worn

back-number

bad-taste

barnacle-encrusted

below-belt

chuckle-compelling,

corn-fed

corset-busting

and so on, all the way to X-rated. The nature of the books the author consulted really shows in his categories of women, including B-GIRL (one page), BLONDE (two pages), HARLOT (one page), and NYMPHO (two). Some of them are pretty funny. TEEN-AGE SEXPOT includes:

sweater-bulging cheerleader

back-seat popularity

under-age sexcitress

butt-sprung usherette

haymow-taught sex

slumber-party gossip

and hand-knitted socks.

The unintentional comedy of "under-age sexcitress" and the like is amusing at first. But after a while, the sexism of the project makes reading it dreary and depressing.

 Still, in short bursts it's a hoot. And I'm absolutely certain you don't own a copy.

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