Sunday, October 28, 2012

Ghoulies

.



From Ghoulies and Ghosties, Long-Leggitie Beasties . . . 
                                                                              
(Part 34)


The hand on Kenny’s shoulder did not weaken, struggle against it though he did.  

(Continued tomorrow.)


And my commentary . . .

This sentence serves more than one purpose.  It establishes that Kenny has caught on to the implications of what the pale man is saying and is now genuinely afraid -- he'd run away if he could.  Also that the pale man intends to do more than just frighten him, or he'd simply let him go.  Most importantly, it delays the revelation again, cranking up the suspense ever so slightly.


Note that I wrote "though he did," rather than "though he might."  The unused phrasing comes to the tongue, the hand, the mind, more easily and thus would make the sentence flow faster.  Normally that would be good.  But here, I want to slow down the reader. 

You can read all of the story to date here.


And since this is Sunday . . .

Today is a Day of Rest.  So I won't be doing any work at all.  Except for battening down the house and laying in supplies against the unspeakable horrors of Frankenstormageddon.  They're expecting huge portions of the East Coast to be reduced to cannibalism by Wednesday with the possible emergence of zombies by the weekend.  So I'd better run out and buy several bags of chips before the storm hits.

*

No comments: