.March 26, 2015:
Dreaming, I witnessed this exchange.
Kid: I brought you a half a bag of coffee.
Kid: Hey, hey, hey, hey! That's not a gift. It'll cost you two dollars. That's a good deal.
Man: I'm sure it is. No dice.
Kid: I've also got a goat.
Man: I know you do. I've seen it.
Kid: It's yours for fifty bucks. I'll throw in the coffee free.
Man: What would I want with a goat? Forget it.
Kid: You can have them both for nothing if you just tell me one thing: Are you or are you not my father?
Man: I'll get my checkbook.