My Invisible Collection

.

Everybody collects something--even if it's just dust. Me, I've started a collection of invisible things. That's it there up above.

I doubt you can easily read the labels in the photo so, in no particular order, here's what they say:

Contents: Nothing

Gluten free, low sodium, organic, non-GMO. Zero calories. No cholesterol. Contains no nuts or nut byproducts. No animals were harmed in the creation of this product. Lasts forever.

Contents: Air

This rich mixture of nitrogen, oxygen, argon, carbon dioxide, and trace gases is a curated blend of molecules certified to have been once breathed by Abraham Lincoln, Cleopatra, Saul of Tarsus, and other world celebrities. Also dinosaurs.

Contents: Tennessine Atom (1)

By weight, the most expensive material in the universe. Properties: Unknown. Do not chill, heat, shake, stir, or in any way molest. This atom is more valuable than you could ever hope to be. How sad to be you.

Contents: Ectoplasm

This triple-hexed jar contains one vengeful ghost. Opening it is extremely dangerous. Skeptics and debunkers are urged to take the jar home before doing so.

Contents: Tennessine Atom (1)

By weight, the most expensive material in the universe. Properties: Unknown. Do not chill, heat, shake, stir, or in any way molest. This atom is more important than you could ever hope to be. How sad to be you.

Contents: Gaseous Anti-Matter

0.003 g compressed anti-hydrogen. Exercise extreme caution in handling. A massive energy conversion capable of leveling a city block will occur if exposed to regular matter. There is a small possibility of setting fire to the atmosphere. Use of this product is illegal in 187 nations. Fun for the whole family.

*